Difference in meaning of "frustrated at" and "frustrated with"


What is the difference in meaning of "frustrated at" and "frustrated with" used in sentences like



He is frustrated with me



or



He is frustrated at me



When is each of these sentences above are used?



Answer



Strictly speaking there isn't much of a difference between the two. If you interchanged one for the other no one would correct you. That being said, when placed side-by-side, there is a subtle distinction between them.


Being frustrated "at" is directing the emotions toward the recipient. Being frustrated "with" is directing the emotions elsewhere. It is a deflection so small that it requires a heavy emphasis to even notice it.


The primary use for the distinction is to associate the perceived solution being something inclusive or exclusive. If someone is frustrated at you they probably think the solution is to remove you from the equation. If someone is frustrated with you they are more likely to think of the situation as the problem — not you personally.


It is little more obvious with other emotions:



I am not laughing at you; I am laughing with you


I wish he wouldn't get angry at me.



The laughter at/with example is the most common.


These types of prepositional emphasis are relatively common when trying to describe particularly emotional acts:



Ugh, she keeps talking at me instead of to me.



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