idioms - "I so much as look" doesn't make any sense to me


There is a conversation in Californication season 5, ep. 9 where Tyler talks to Charlie and Charlie says:



- I'd love to Tyler, but they watch me like a hawk here


- I so much as look at a naked picture on the Internet, and H.R. swoops in, and alarm goes off.



and I don't understant the second Charlies line. Could you explain it please?


Californication series are full of intricated conversations for non-english-speakers, a great part of them I can figure out on my own digging on the Internet, google translate, Collins and urban dictionaries, but sometimes I just can't get over something like this.



Answer



The word if is implied at the start of the sentence, which then can be interpreted as:



  • If I so much as look at a naked picture, then H.R. swoops in, and the alarm goes off.


The expression so much as here means something like even if I only do this little thing, it has negative and disproportionate consequences. Other examples:



  • If I so much as look at a cake, I put on weight.

  • If I so much as express my opinion, he starts shouting at me.


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