politeness - Is either "can" or "could" more polite?





When do I use “can” or “could”?



I wonder which of the following is more polite:




  1. Can you please change my email address?

  2. Could you please change my email address?



The second one sounds to me as if the request is more urgent. So I would choose the first. But I heard that "could", "should", etc. forms are more polite forms of "can", "shall", etc. Is this true at all and if so, what is the underlying reason?



Answer



The problem is that "can you x" is like asking "are you able to x" whereas "could you x" is like asking "are you willing to x"


So yeah, politeness isn't the issue at all.


This is probably why, even if you're not aware of the nuanced meaning, could is more polite. It's not insulting the target by questioning their ability to perform something.


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